Bad Seed

Tiny, small, sometimes miniscule.

Yet they can hold so much potential!

One small object can represent more than ever imagined.

Sometimes good, sometimes bad.

Although good seed grows from the support of good ground, food and encouragement it must be good to start with. Should there be some fault or form of error in the seed then there is a higher chance of faulty growth.

This is also true when it comes to the seed within our soul. It is from this that we will view the world around us. No matter how good an event, program, person or motive may be, it is more difficult to view it as good, when there is bad coming from the seed – your heart.

I believe this to be true based on experience; very personal and recent experience.

Pain, disillusionment, setbacks, disappointments and deep hurts are usually the real culprits of turning good seed into bad. No matter what happens around me, when I have allowed these experiences to take hold, there continues to be, even if only minimal, a tinge of bad in my view.

My quandary at the moment is, if good seed has gone bad, can it return to good again or am I now set to always view things in this light?

My heart, deep with hurt, struggles to find good in things, events or others around me, and along with this, there is the hesitation as there may very well be more of the same sort of hurt waiting for me in future experiences.

Yet it is also because of these experiences that I have become more aware of the bad seed (view) in my life; it is these experiences that have combined over the years to make me who I am.

It is from the bad that I have learnt the greater value of good.

As I hold on to and continue to focus on these experiences I allow, or give the permission needed for, the seed to continue to grow.  It is from this pattern that I feel a greater enhanced pain that leads into a justification for revenge, if only in my heart. I feel as if this steals from me any good that was left.

I have found that good and bad can not live together, just like there can not be light and dark in the same place.

As I place my focus on removing – not reliving, concentrating or rehearsing in my mind – the bad experiences, the more I am able to focus on the good that can come from such an experience.

With this I can clear my view, renew my mind and be given the chance to be good seed again, which is most definitely one of my goals in life. I desire to have a legacy that speaks well of who I was, the impact I made and the good I brought.

Being good seed is not easy; in fact it is down-right hard!

In the difficult times it is so hard to let go, so hard to move on and allow ‘whatever will be’ to happen. It is not my role to be sure that justification happens. I am not judge.

As I remind myself more sternly of this, I become better equipped to redevelop my good seed, allowing growth to take place and then ultimately provide the opportunity to bring good to others.

Oh, I so want to be good seed! To be the one that brings light, life and new beginnings to others.

And yes I am still a work in progress; so then the best is yet to come!

Deb
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