Just another four-letter word!

But one with great implications.

I love my coffee!

I love my family time, and I love, truly love time with God.

But there are times that I wonder whether this word is used too much in my vocab, and by doing so does this cause it to lose its value? Does love mean what it should to me?

As we have just celebrated the day of love with a flurry of red roses, chocolates and teddy bears in the shops, I began to think deeper on the word LOVE.

What does it really mean to me now?

I remember the first time I wanted to say those three magical words “I love you” to my husband; I remember so clearly how I felt and how I felt such trepidation. I wanted to say them, but suddenly I became very aware of how this could become an impacting moment in my life.

My experience of love had not been great, including the time as a child and further to this, the time spent in an abusive marriage. What I had known and experienced love to be, was not pleasant. So this feeling I was now facing was unfamiliar to me, I knew I loved this man; I knew I wanted to share that, but I also wondered what ‘love’ truly was and if I was right.

Love. It is such a great experience.

But to work out if what I was feeling was truly Love?

My time of separation and divorce was horrible; there really is no other word for it. It was a time when I experienced a pain like no other, hurt like no other and it was a time of great loneliness (I have shared this and more in my book ‘My Hidden Confidence’). I had loved this man, at least the best way I knew how, but with this experience and understanding of love I felt as if my view of it was quite unbalanced.

It was at this time that I ran to the greatest love of all, the unconditional, never ending and gracious love of my Heavenly Father. With this love as my example, I now had something to work towards.

Could I love another with such great strength? And if so, could I expect the same from another?

My encouragement came from these words:

 “My father and mother walked out and left me, but God took me in” (Psalm 27:10)

And, (Be warned these words are powerful!)

“I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us”  (Romans 8:39)

God demonstrated to me his love so powerful and never ending, so much so that He blessed me with the greatest love as an example here on earth.

After time in prayer and seeking God I took the brave step of saying those powerful words, and what an amazing experience that was. Now after many years of marriage I can honestly say that I love my husband more than I did the day I married him. (Several months after saying those words!)

It has not been all bliss, there have been challenging moments, but what I have found, is that a love of the deepest kind will last. This is the love that God examples for us, as He loves us for who we are, who we are going to be and sees the best in us at all times.

True, deep and powerful Love is an experience like no other, and IS possible.

Amongst the hurt and pain of separation and divorce it is difficult to fathom that love still exists.

If you are experiencing pain like this, I encourage you to RUN to God, believe in Him as He believes in YOU.  And so do I!!!


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Book DEBrief

"Undaunted" by Christine Caine

A book I will read again!

The story that Christine shares is personal and impacting, full of honesty and openness. I related to so much of what she had to share and was extremely encouraged.

Christine is with no doubt a woman of faith, but it is the way in which she openly shares the journey of faith, including the thoughts of doubt and question and the wonder of how it will all work out that for me was the greatest encouragement.

I often feel like a lesser woman of faith when I begin to doubt, yet what I learnt from this real life story is that is the action which we take that will bring us closer to the purpose we were designed for.

I was also reminded that, from my own dark and depressive experiences, I can be used to empower and equip others; but it takes the desire to not only want change but to hang on tight to it, grip it well and move forward with it every day.

This is my first Christine Caine book, one I picked up from a recommendation, and I am so glad that I did. Christine writes in an easy to read fashion, but I found it was her honesty and humbleness before God that captured me.

I do recommend this book as a great read, but be prepared to be challenged whilst also very encouraged to become someone who is UNDAUNTED!


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