The Way We talk to our Children

Oh how important our words are!

The Tone,

The way we say it,

And at times the things we say.

Out of the mouth of babes!!!

Too many times I have heard something I have said in haste repeated out of the mouth of children. And oh how this has ripped through my spirit reminding me of things said to me in my past. (It has also been an inner correction of my language as I promise myself to watch my words)

These moments have reminded me of how easy it has been for the spoken words over my life to become my inner voice, more often than not speaking words of hurt and fear.

The words and phrases that were used in my life are not ones that I am able to share with you here; needless to say they were far from nice! (Further details can be read in my book, My Hidden Confidence)

For example; being told repeatedly that I had no purpose and or anything worthwhile to offer this world, from a young girl I struggled immensely with self-doubt, often failing to complete a task, my actions therefore appearing to give proof to this being true.

The self-doubt seeped into every part of who I was and the way I conducted my life, becoming predominately clear in the way I interacted with others and built relationships. With my emotional wall built strong and tall from many years of hurt, I very rarely let others in to see the real pain I was feeling and the life that I lived daily.

After all, if I did not trust myself, how would anyone else be able to?

Breaking the hold of this inner voice is such a challenge.

It is a challenge that requires a lot of emotional energy, energy that I would much rather put to use in moving forward in life.

Sure, the experience of going through this has grown my character, helped to develop a grace that I would not have had without it and taught me the power of words. I have no doubt that from this experience I can now value the richness of positive words, belief of others and the ability to accept and show love unconditionally.

And yes, I have become the woman I am today because of this, but given the choice I would have preferred to have had someone believe in me, see the best in me and motivate me to be all that I could.

Thankfully, there has been some good come from this!

Because of this, I use positive titles when talking to my children; words such as  beautiful, handsome, talented, amazing and loved, providing those words that build a great self esteem and a healthy and very supportive inner voice.

Being more aware that our words and everyday conversations in life can be words that can cause destruction if allowed or bring confidence and belief, has awakened me to how easily either can become our inner voices.

I have learnt that providing as many positive ‘deposits’ as possible in the minds and hearts of others, will lessen the impact the withdrawals (the negative) will have, and are more likely develop confident children, who will grow to bring much more to society as adults.

Sure, keeping positive and focused with the use of words is a challenge, but one that is well worth the effort.

We all have so much power and potential, skills and abilities and oh what a great world we live in when we are able to offer these.

So in closing….

Always remember how unique and amazing you ARE!

Deb
Xx