Why the Urge to Compare

Confidently I went about my day.

I felt very comfortable about what I was wearing.

When leaving on this particular morning, I had direction and purpose in my walk.

Or so I believed.

Until… there I was standing and comparing myself.

“Look at what she is wearing!” “She sends off so much positive vibe, and seems so likeable”. These were the sorts of thoughts running around in my head, and with them I was now not feeling all that confident!

In fact, I began looking myself over, judging what I was wearing, and beginning to feel very much out of place. Why do I do this to myself? What is so wrong about being me? Where is that direction and purpose that I had such a strong sense of only 15 minutes ago?

Becoming aware of what my mind was now telling my heart, I began to work at reigning in my thoughts and emotions, searching again for my confidence.

Not an easy task when one is as busy as I was! I was using all possible energy to achieve what needed to be done in such a short space of time; dealing with my thoughts was an added burden. And one I could do without.

So why is the urge to compare so strong and such an immediate reaction for me? Am I the only woman who struggles with this challenge?

And when I do this, what sort of vibe am I giving to others.

Surely now that I am older I am not meant to experience this?

If only that was the truth!

The urge to compare myself with others has been a life long habit of mine, and although it is not as strong or often as it used to be, it is still there.  (At times like this I am reminded of how quickly it can resurface)

Allowing my thoughts to continue this way can be very destructive,  the evidence of this being my confidence quickly diminishing.

As I began to deal with my thoughts and lack of confidence at this particular instance, I started to become more interested in the affect that my personal thoughts could or were having on those around me.

Could others sense that I had suddenly felt very insecure and lost? And in turn would this cause them to treat me differently or even avoid being around me?

Or was everyone too busy to care?

Just as I was observing this other lady who appeared to be going about her morning with complete confidence and friendliness and the sense of awe she had about herself, I thought of how others may also be observing her.

Was their impression or belief of how this lady was presenting herself the same as mine? Was she really as confident as she was portraying?  Was it this behavior that attracted others to her?

This brought a gentle, yet rather bold reminder that how I feel about myself is likely to be obvious to others, one way or another. The way I behave, react or present myself can make a difference to someone.

So as I reminded myself of how I can leave an impact on others, even if this is a small amount and only to one other person, I realized that the opportunity to be used to lighten another’s daily stress is a blessing. One I should embrace and look for.

Just as I am observing the confidence in another, someone is probably watching how I behave, now, today and everyday!

Together we can encourage and inspire each other!

Let’s do all we can to build one another as we travel this amazing journey of life?








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Book DEBrief

"Undaunted" by Christine Caine

A book I will read again!

The story that Christine shares is personal and impacting, full of honesty and openness. I related to so much of what she had to share and was extremely encouraged.

Christine is with no doubt a woman of faith, but it is the way in which she openly shares the journey of faith, including the thoughts of doubt and question and the wonder of how it will all work out that for me was the greatest encouragement.

I often feel like a lesser woman of faith when I begin to doubt, yet what I learnt from this real life story is that is the action which we take that will bring us closer to the purpose we were designed for.

I was also reminded that, from my own dark and depressive experiences, I can be used to empower and equip others; but it takes the desire to not only want change but to hang on tight to it, grip it well and move forward with it every day.

This is my first Christine Caine book, one I picked up from a recommendation, and I am so glad that I did. Christine writes in an easy to read fashion, but I found it was her honesty and humbleness before God that captured me.

I do recommend this book as a great read, but be prepared to be challenged whilst also very encouraged to become someone who is UNDAUNTED!


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