The smell and noise of the clinic is all I need.
This is enough for all the memories to return.
This visit was no different.
To say I was a bit concerned and anxious would be an understatement, in fact I have been known to walk out on an appointment while left waiting in the waiting area – yep I have been that scared! So for me to go in by myself was quite an achievement.
The pain began some weeks prior to this, and although it started in one tooth it had now extended to others, causing referred pain. Pin pointing the pain was becoming a challenge, oh and causing me to be sitting in the chair for even longer!
My fear of the dentist came from childhood experiences, producing in me a lack of trust in the profession, even after visiting several pleasant clinics since then.
As a child, I attended the dental service clinic offered at the local school, where I was called from class at my appointment time. At my first visit, I had a tooth removed with no pain relief provided, and so from this visit, at the age of 10, I have had a fear like no other. The pain from this visit was horrendous and lasted for several days. To add to this trauma, I was provided no pain relief when at home nor was any attention given to the pain I was in.
So my fear of the dentist has been around for a long time.
On the morning of my recent visit, I was awoken by my fear at 1am, and my apprehension was growing by the minute! After some time of sleeplessness, I decided that I needed to do something to bring change as this fear needed to GO; this had gone on for far too long.
I became very aware that not only did I have no choice regarding attendance at my appointment later that morning, but that if I did not get more sleep I would be arriving very tired. This would not be pleasant for the dentist or me. I need to be more rested than I was.
So what does a girl do at this hour of the morning when frozen by fear and everyone else is asleep?
Pray of course!
I am so thankful that, no matter what the hour, God is always listening; always there for me! He cares about the little things – even fear of the dentist.
As I began to ask for strength and wisdom to overcome and be free of this fear, my spirit was gently reminded of what God’s promise is to me.
“For God has not given me a sprit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7)
After a short time of conversation with God, claiming and accepting his promise, sleep found me again! In fact I was blessed with the best sleep I have had in a very long time.
When I woke in the morning I had some slight apprehension lingering, and yes, I was a bit concerned as to how my visit would go, but I put this down to new surroundings. (We had recently relocated, so I had not attended this particular clinic before)
However I was not gripped by fear like I had been before! It was gone!
I was dropped off for the visit, walked in alone, sat and waited for a few minutes – alone, and when called in, I walked in alone. Previously I would have felt so nauseous that I would have needed to put all my effort into not giving in to the urge to run – yep literally run – from the waiting room!
My fear has been known to cause my mind to freeze, affecting my ability to complete any paperwork successfully. This can be embarrassing. But I stayed, my mind did not freeze with fear, and with that came the realisation that this day I had received my breakthrough.
No matter what our age, experience, fear or anxiety is, I have no doubts that God holds our breakthrough. He cares and understands about every area of our lives.