Recently, I revisited an emotional challenge I thought had been dealt with, so putting aside my self-disappointment; I focused my energies on having to overcome once again.
The challenge I speak of is in relation to owning the title of “Gossip Girl” (yep now there is even a TV series about this!) and my regular participation in conversations about others. This was MANY years ago and to keep myself from reverting I have remind my soul of the following:
“But the human tongue can be tamed by no man. It is a restless (undisciplined, irreconcilable) evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who were made in God’s likeness” James 3: 8-9
And how did I curse others? Well that was done through convincing myself with thoughts like:
- “others should know what he/she is really like”,
- “Really, I would be helping them out by means of warning”,
- “it’s not really gossiping is it?”
Sure there have been times when disclosing information has been my obligation and a part of the responsibility of the position I may have held, but still no excuses for an undisciplined tongue!
I knew when I had spoken out of turn, oh boy I felt the consequences almost instantly, quickly and strongly convincing myself I will never do that again, believing I had learnt my lesson. And over time I did! I can honestly say that through the strength given to me by God, for many years now, I have been successful and can no longer claim the title of “Gossip Girl”.
So then, what was my challenge?
It was dealing with the presumption that even after no work towards it, I was eligible to receive this horrible title again, a title I did NOT want. My question now was “To Say or Not To Say”. If I defended myself, was I displaying what could be conceived as participation or guilt, or should I simply rely on the reputation that I have worked so hard at maintaining and allow time to deal with it?
I chose to do that later after re-evaluating the seed, my home (heart) grown seed asking myself:
“is sharing this information only in order to make me to look good?” and
“is the temporary feeling of being accepted worth it?”
Reminding my soul:
“A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” Proverbs 22:1
To be esteemed is to receive: respect, honour and favour! Oh yes please!!! Receiving all of these was definitely worth waving what I saw as my right to speak up.
The emotional challenge still lingers, but I know and trust that God will come through and that all will come out in the end!
Quoting a movie line: “Everything will be all right in the end. So if it is not all right, then it is not yet the end.”